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He Sees

April 16, 2013 by Patrice Williams 0 comments

Posted in: Women's Ministry

I'm republishing, with permission, a blog entry posted by my friend and former-Pinedaler, Jen Maurer. May we always remember, in the grunt of our days, whatever we're doing, we each have our own ministry and no matter how seemingly insignificant, we are to do it for God's glory. AND HE SEES.

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I realized over the past few weeks just how important my choice to stay at home has been to Shawn’s ministry. If I worked a full-time job, it would’ve been absolutely impossible for Shawn to do and take care of all the things on his plate! I wish I could say I realized this fact with joy, but that wasn’t always the case.

One particular Wednesday, I was up to my eyeballs in frustration with the boys. I taught my small group girls, and that interaction and spiritual connection was just what I needed. Jr. High groups usually end at 8:30, so I’m quick to whisk my boys home in hopes of getting them to bed by 9:00. I was so needing a “break” that evening, so the boys and I hung around and chatted with various kids and leaders while Shawn finished up some student counseling. Most of the students had left at that point, so Shawn and the leaders began talking about where they wanted to grab a late dinner. I’m not sure where they ended up choosing, but iHop and Chili’s were thrown out there.

The rest of Shawn’s evening stood in stark contrast with mine. I would be giving reminders to stop whining, cleaning up ill-aimed urine, ushering [for the 80th time] the boys into their beds, and grabbing onto every last strand of patience I could. As I drove home that night and found myself explaining to Bug and Bear that we needed to leave Spiderman’s private parts alone [don't ask...], I was profoundly jealous.

And as you probably know, jealousy isn’t rational. I imagined the fun Shawn must be having at dinner with like-minded adults. I was certain the stimulating conversation and delicious food where nothing short of legendary, and I couldn’t help being envious of the idea that he wasn’t giving a second thought to who would put the boys to bed or make their lunches for school the next day. In truth, there’s a high likelihood that Shawn was jealous of me. He was worn out and tired by that point in the week, and probably would have much rather come home, given our boys some snuggles, and crawled into bed early.

But like I said, jealousy isn’t rational. I started feeling sorry for myself and feeling alone in my little world. I did remind the boys to stop whining, I did clean up ill-aimed urine, and I did – for the 80th time that night – calmly say, “Kiddo, get into your room and climb into your bed.” I laid down next to Bear and as I sang him a lullabye, my mind was already thinking about putting on my pajamas and hitting the hay. Bear was kicking his feet up on the wall [he says he's "exercising"], and for the 3rd time that night, I calmly asked him to stop and covered him up again with his blanket. That’s when I heard it.

Speaking deeply into my heart, I heard Him say, “I see you.”

I was stunned. And if I’d had my wits about me, I probably would’ve been creeped out.

But He continued, “I see when you don’t think you have anything left to give, but you give anyway. Because I see that you know they need it. I see when you want to lose your cool, when you want to yell and be harsh, but you speak with patience and love instead. I see your moments of joy. I know that no one else understands what a huge deal it is that Bug willingly tells you he loves you, but I know. I know and I rejoice with you. I see what you do to take care of your husband. I see the laundry that is cleaned, the food that is researched and prepared, the floors that are swept, the toilet that is scrubbed, the counters that are wiped, the bills that are paid, and the place of peace and respite you’ve made your home for him.

Not only do I see it, but I want you to know that it’s important. This is the ministry I’ve given you. I know it’s not as glamorous or exciting as other ministries, but it’s not any less important. Nobody can love those boys like you, and it’s your ministry to show them Me. I see your heart, and I know you love them fearlessly. I know you feel like thousands of things you do on a daily basis go unseen but I notice. I’m with you, rejoicing when you rejoice and weeping when you weep. I’m giving you strength when you’re weak, patience when you’re frustrated, wisdom when you’re helpless, and courage when you’re fearful.

This is your ministry, Jen. It doesn’t matter who else sees it. Because I do.”

I easily forget for Whom I’m really working, and so I get frustrated and overwhelmed. I’m amazed that my God took the time to speak so personally to me. To encourage me so tenderly and to remind me that the ministry before me is daunting, but vital [and definitely not without its own rewards]. Even if He is the only one who may see the work I do…that’s more than enough for me.

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